So I've had a pretty interesting week and a half. After a lull in auditions, I suddenly got two in a week. Actually two in one day. Which just happened to coincide with an appointment to find bridesmaids dresses. But auditions are auditions and my artist soul tells me to never say no and just do it. And to top it all off, I was called into the second audition partly due to my resume and reel but also on personal recommendation. Yeah. So someone else's personal reputation was on the line with my performance. Let's play a game and take a guess how that one went.
It bombed. Entirely. Not really sure why as the lines were secure in my head, I had made character choices. But as I walked into the room, the "sparkle" left. And that's the only way I can describe it. I took the director's notes and incorporated them into my performance but still no go. Blah. Boring. Blah.
So now I agonize over it. Berating myself for sucking so horribly and hey, maybe I shouldn't even do this acting thing. Honestly, who am I fooling?
Then a tiny little red and white star appears beside my email on my Blackberry. And I open up my new messages. The message read something like, "Hey Tonya, we loved you and want to offer you the part. Script to come soon, from the first casting director from the first audition". So during my insecure neurotic ramblings about my second audition performance, my brain had completely decided to ignore the kickass audition I did first thing that day. The audition I knew I had hit out of the park.
Moral of the story? Sometimes that insecure voice that we all actors have needs to be thrown against the wall and put in its place. Like tossed over a cliff or hung by its toe nails.